American Pie

You know, I was thinking about America and Americans today.  If there was an invasion, a wide-spread attack of some sort, what would we do?  Could the average citizen pick up a weapon and protect his family, his neighborhood, his city?  They can in Israel.

Now, I don’t care whose “side” you’re on in regards to the political issues in the Middle East, you can’t deny that nearly every adult in Israel knows how to shoot, how to field strip a weapon, how to employ at least a semblance of military tactics if the need arises.

I happen to know Israelis who have scoffed at Americans and how we feel about the military, saying that we’d never allow mandatory military service in this country.  That we’re weak, babies whining about being trained, doing drills, taking orders.

I agreed.  Why should we?  Israel has borders to protect, constant bomb threats, the smell of war in the air ALL THE TIME.  We don’t have that problem.  We don’t need to be that vigilant, that prepared.  We don’t have enemies at the gate, pounding to get in. 

Or do we?

Then I started thinking more about it, the whole idea of citizen militia, ready to fill in the gaps, ready to protect and serve, and I thought, “Wait a minute!  That’s what I’m doing!  I know a grip of people doing the same thing.  We’re all training!”

We’re NOT lazy, whiny Americans unwilling to fight.  I think that’s what “they” want us to think.  “They” have fostered a climate where we sit around debating issues.  “They” tell us we’re too intellectual to take up arms, and remind us that you can’t simultaneously cry out for peace while preparing for war, and you don’t need extended clips, you don’t need automatic weapons, you don’t need that Glock at your belt . . . 

That’s right, “they” are our own government.  They hype shootings and bombings and talk about how out of control people are, demand we give up our arms, want to restrict how many bullets we can buy at one time . . . why?

Why does our own government want us vulnerable, sitting ducks if you will?  Why do they want us distracted by fun and entertainment while we’re stripped of our ability to defend out families?

There’s only one reason.  They fear us.  They fear we will rise up.  They fear that the 10% needed to start a revolution will decide it’s time.  They’ve actually sat around and weighed this issue.  Seriously.  They sat there and decided their fear of us is greater than our need as a country to be equipped and trained to defend it.


This isn’t an Obama issue (although that is some nice slight of hand they’ve done, getting everyone to bitch about the person with the least amount of power running the country).  It’s not a Bush thing or Reagan thing, or even a Ford thing.  It’s a puppet master thing, and those people don’t get elected every 4 years.  It’s the men behind the curtain who fear us.

So what do we do?  I know what I won’t do.  I won’t give up my guns.  I won’t give up training.  I won’t sit back and trust a government who fears me to protect me.  

So what can we do?

  • Right now, like no other time in history, we have the capability to share information faster than it can be redacted.  Don’t kill your Internet, USE it.  Spread the word.  Join Twitter and read alternative news sources.  Follow Your Anon News.
  • Buy guns and ammo.  Lots of ammo.  Shit, learn to make your own if you have to.  Buy so many guns they can’t even begin to track them all.
  • Learn to shoot your gun.  And I don’t mean the minimum required to get a CCL.  I mean combat shooting, active shooter scenarios, outdoor shooting, and PRACTICE.
  • Learn to shoot a bow and arrow.  That may be all we have left if we let them take our guns.
  • Learn to use a knife effectively for more than cutting the food you shove in your mouths.  
  • Learn to grow food, and DO IT.  If it’s illegal to grow food in your front yard, grow the veggies in back and fruit in front.  Kill your lawn, it’s a waste of water.  Potable water is the next oil!
  • Learn to fight with your hands, a stick, a coat hanger, a business card, whatever you can get a hold of.
  • Learn combat first aid, and have that equipment at home and in your car.  Keep it with your gun!
  • Catch rain water in barrels to water your gardens.  Fuck GMO!
  • Get some chickens for your backyard!  They’re easy to take care of, make great pets, and free-range chicken eggs are yummy, not to mention all the free natural fertilizer you’d get.
  • Teach your kids to do these things, too, including shooting.  Better they’re allowed to use a gun under proper supervision than to have it a mystery they want to sneak and look at when no one’s watching, straight in the barrel. 
  • Download some survival books on to your tablet or laptop.  There’s plenty of room for the other stuff, and you never know when you might need it.
  • Collect seeds that will produce plants that produce seeds.
  • Know your neighbors and your neighborhood.  Each block should be a unit, your “beat”.  Know who belongs and who doesn’t.  Be nosy!  It might save a life.
  • Learn how to make an apple pie from scratch!
  • Learn how to make a fire, LOL!

I’m not saying to turn into doomsday survivalist, just urban cowboys!  Let’s take back our own power.  Let’s make Monsanto obsolete.  Make it impossible for them to take our weapons.  Let’s start to protect our own, because they certainly won’t.

All we have to do is say no.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Toni’s Trolls are Getting Desperate

What does desperation cause people to do?  Well, a normal person might feel frustration, reach out for help, talk to a friend.  What does Toni Ingram do?  She gathers her troll brigade and tries to lower our credibility with unsubstantiated claims, outrageous lies, and really bizarre allegations.

Here’s an example of what Toni pays to happen. One of the troll hate sites has this as tags:

“Mayra Martinez. Raven Recovery. MayraM impersonates law enforcement. Mayra Martinez impersonates attorneys. J.B __________. JB __________Writer. Marcie __________. Mayra Martinez Fraud. MayraM Craigslist. Mayra Martinez Eugene Oregon. Mayra Martinez Portland Oregon. MayraMM. Raven Recovery Steals Meth. Raven Recovery Scandal. Tricia Griffith. Mayra Martinez Fat. Websleuths. Keenan Vanginkel Murderer. Killer K. Ted Bundy.”

(Bolded by me)

Note the remarks about my business, Raven Recovery.  The other tags are pretty ridiculous, too, but let’s focus on the bolded part for the time being.  Now, I know it’s not true and they know it’s not true; but they want everyone else to think it’s true.  This is a perfect example of when freedom of speech becomes libel.  (No worries, I have it screen capped.)

BTW, no stolen meth, no scandal.

This is a simple illustration of how the trolls approach everything.  They lack credibility, integrity, and honor.  This reflects directly on Toni and Steve Ingram, and also reflects on Morgan by extension.  Toni tried so hard to clean up Morgan’s social network image, only to go on and sully her name by taking these tactics.  I think if Morgan hadn’t taken her own life, she’d be mortified at what Toni is doing.

But I digress.  Back to the troll tactics.  A good example of this lack of integrity would be the Boston Marathon Bombing.  Toni’s Trolls all got together to post the same thing, spewing their usual rhetoric about Morgan being stalked, raped and murdered, but using #BostonMarathon as one of their hash tags, knowing that term was trending and wanting to slip their propaganda in with the real issue.  They ought to be ashamed.  They took advantage of a horrible situation that effected our whole country, just to sell their snake oil.

This is what they do.

So while they accuse us of lying and altering the police reports to favor our “side”, we make available the entire 220-page police report in PDF format, ready for download by anyone who wants to see it all.

What have they done?  Well, they’ve made dozens of Blogspot hate sites about anybody who doesn’t believe them.  They’ve made Tweet after Tweet filled with lies and venom.  They’ve tried to trick and manipulate Anonymous members to help them (can’t wait to see the ramifications of that).  They’ve threatened children.  They’ve threatened the accused.  They’ve threatened me.  But what they have not done is prove a single thing they have said on their hate sites or Twitter accounts.

So, my challenge for the trolls is to take 3 of the allegations you made specifically about me and prove them.  News clippings, police reports, anything credible (Blogspot sites don’t count for credibility) will do nicely.

Put you money where your nasty mouths are.

We back our statements with proof.  See if you can do the same.


I removed the last name of a certain person defamed by the trolls, per her request.  Nothing else has been changed.

Categories: Morgan Ingram | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

More on Toni’s Trolls

The trolls have recently taken a more direct approach, still trying to defame me, still unable to prove any of their allegations, and naming me fully in their Tweets.  “I heard that Mayra Martinez . . . “.  Whatever.  You heard it while talking to yourself?


As ridiculous their claims might be, I thought it would be fun to show them for the fools they really are.


They keep insisting I have a daughter named Vanessa who was pregnant at 11 years old.  OK.  Well, I don’t have a daughter named Vanessa.  All my kids have Muslim names, except the youngest, who was named by the chief of my tribe.  While I do have 2 daughters, neither was pregnant at 11, or 12, or 13, or 14, or 15, or 16 . . . well, you get the idea.  Oh, and BTW, none of my sons have been pregnant, either, just in case the trolls try to throw that out there.


My daughter has a friend named Vanessa, the girl they keep picturing as my daughter.  As far as I know, she was never pregnant at 11, either.  She thinks the trolls are saying that about her because she’s Mexican.  


I think they’re trying to imply that a child under my care was sexually molested.  The very fact that these fools (Mark Jorgenson (Mann), Shannan Rivers, et al) keep saying that shows what lowlifes they are.  To use pedophilia as a means to defame someone is committing a grave injustice to real victims of child abuse.  They’re going to have to live with that, and the anger from people who spend their lives fighting child exploitation.  Those people, who they keep trying to manipulate, probably won’t like being led on a wild goose chase by amateur trolls. 


Today they said I “pretend to be young”.  I’m not sure what that means, but I decided to take it as a compliment.  So, thank you, trolls, I feel young, too!


As for Truth For Morgan, there are many of us.  One person runs the Tumblr site, another the WordPress site, and I, for the most part, use the Twitter account.  Others do research, dig for facts, follow IP addresses, and what every else they can do to help.  Sometimes, if there’s a new blog to post, one of the others will Tweet, but it’s usually just me.  And just for the record, I have access to many Twitter accounts; a personal one, TFM, a business one, and a couple I run for other people to help with their SEO.


I’m the only person who blogs here at this site, and I chose to allow my personal blog to become part of the mess created by Toni Ingram to prove that I’m a real person, using real accounts, not hiding behind fake Twitter accounts, like her troll.  Oops, I mean trolls, right?  Oh well, we’ll see.  


Here is the only place I’m going to address the fake Twitter accounts.  From now on, my Tweets will be directed, again, at the truth, allowing others access to the truth, and preserving Morgan’s dignity, something Toni’s “Team of Angels” has failed to do.  I guess money can’t buy everything.


All will be exposed soon.  Those being slammed on the defamation sites created by Team Toni can rest assured those sites will be taken down and their pictures will no longer be used as a pawn in Toni’s game.  There are pictures of people on those sites who have never even heard of Toni Ingram or her daughter!  Imagine the ego thinking everyone knows who she is.


One last thing:  I am not Marcie or Tricia.  I am not the mother of the accused.  I am not a relative of the accused.  I don’t even know the accused.  The trolls post pictures of the accused fishing in Oregon, saying that’s proof I know him.  Well, sorry.  Oregon is a big state.  Never met him or any of the other people tangled up in the Toni web.  I can’t figure out if the trolls are really so stupid as to think we’re all the same person, or if they want to try to convince others that we’re the same person.  Maybe they’re afraid to admit to themselves there are dozens of us, not just what they want to believe.  But, the fact is I’m me.  I’m all over the web, easy to find, nothing to hide. 


Marcie is not only not me, but not part of the group I belong to.  Tricia, too, has never been a part of the group, and I’ve never even spoken to her electronically or otherwise.  


It’s very simple.  My Facebook page, my business site, this blog have all been around long before Toni polluted the Internet with her lies and let loose her very badly chosen group of “supporters”.  


The troll sites all cropped up at the same time (in batches as each group was discredited), aren’t associated with any other sites, other than the defamation sites they created, and constantly switch up.  


I can back any allegations I make with fact.  They can’t.  I have not devoted time to name-calling or other childish tricks.  That’s all they do.  I haven’t lied about anyone.  That’s all they know how to do.  I’ve never threatened anyone.  They have.


Anyone with any intelligence can take a few very quick moments and figure out what’s really going on.  And guess what; some very intelligent people are doing just that, only they’re taking a very deep, long look at the trolls and their sites.  ;D

Categories: Morgan Ingram | 2 Comments

An Invitation

After reading Toni Ingram’s most recent blog, I’m concerned that some of Morgan’s friends might be feeling coerced or even bullied into backing Toni.


Any one of them who would like to share what they know is welcome to contact us  on this blog in the comment section (will not be visible to the public),, http://truthformorgan/, or @Truth4Morgan on Twitter as a DM.


I promise you that anything that is told to us in confidence will remain confidential, as is true for other information given to us.  We will NEVER publicize your name or let anyone outside our group know we spoke without your permission.  We will protect you.


I will say that we have already gotten some misinformation trying to implicate a couple of Morgan’s friends.  Obviously, we didn’t believe the tales.  We knew it was bound to happen, though.


No one should fear stepping forward with the truth.  We took that step and have been the subject of harassment, lies, and blatant defamation since.  That won’t stop us.  But, if someone out there fears getting involved in the Toni 2-step, we will make sure you are not outed for what you want to say.  You will not be subject to what I’ve had to endure, and you will not be subject to being “implicated” in a crime, as Toni mentioned.


There are MANY of us working to spread the truth, and Toni has no idea who we are, other than me.  I chose to be the face of the group, so the group could continue to work unmolested.  We can keep you hidden behind closed doors and passwords, as well, if you have something you want to share.


I think everyone deserves a safe place to speak the truth.



Categories: Morgan Ingram | 13 Comments

Shout out to Toni Ingram

Toni Ingram has accused us of redacting material on our hittp:// to help cover up a stalking and murder.


Yes, we redacted names of people who have not been found guilty, but since Toni has been slinging the names around the Internet for so long, everyone already knows those names.  We also redacted names of people not associated at all with this situation, in an attempt to keep them from being dragged into the hell Toni creates for those involved.


We also redacted personal information about Morgan Ingram, out of respect for her.


We would be glad to put ALL of it back in the official reports, including the stuff Toni doesn’t want known about Morgan, but it’s all or nothing.  If they want us to publicize the name of the person she has been persecuting, then, out of fairness, we will have to put back all the information we redacted, including all the information we’ve gathered from various sources.

Categories: Morgan Ingram | 1 Comment

A Quick Update

Since outing Toni Ingram and her team of trolls, they’ve been busy trying to clean up after themselves.  Sock accounts have been cleaned, posts removed, and everyone’s scrambling to try and appear like they’re just concerned citizens, instead of people with real twisted ideas of morality and truth.  People, in other words, who can’t be trusted to tell the truth about anything.


While my blog linked and PROVED what I was speaking of, these people continue with the fake accounts, fake blogs, and fake statements about me, Tricia, Marcie, and anyone else who doesn’t agree with the Ingrams.  They have proven nothing — linked nothing — that backs their allegations about me or the others the continue to slam.  Any intelligent person can take 5 minutes and see the truth is not as told by Team Toni’s Troll.  I guess since they lack intelligence, they assume everyone else does, too.   After all, they continue to try and trick Anonymous’ around the world, who more than anybody can see through their sock accounts, lies, and manipulation.  They’re asking for trouble.


Here are some of the newest accounts:




@MorganWasMurdered (Toni’s sock account)



These people are friends of the original group of trolls that showed up with Sarah Afshar, the same people who’ve cyberstalked and made defamation blogs against one man for over 10 years.  They are professional trolls.   Any Anons who would like the links to those accounts, feel free to contact me.


Anyone who has to go to that extreme to try and prove their point, has no point.  The truth should speak for itself, as it does at  Buying people to slander/libel/defame the people who oppose you is an act of desperation, and in time, those very trolls will turn on their “boss”.  Toni, they will try to extort you in time, just wait and see.


Once again, if this Toni truly believed her own story, was deeply entrenched in what she says happened, then sticking to her story in an unwavering manner would have earned her respect, sympathy, and the help she claims she wanted.  Instead, she chose the route of libel, attacks, and paid cyberbullies to try to force her story to be believed.  It doesn’t work that way.  She just made herself look bad.


While she scrambles to clean house, make new sock accounts and blogs filled with lies about children, we are documenting, taking notes, contacting authorities, and watchfully waiting for all the documentation to come together.


We are taking the legal route; they are taking the criminal route.


We are dealing in facts; they are relying on psychics and trumped “evidence”.

We use reason and logic; they use lies and defamation.


We will prevail.

Categories: Morgan Ingram | 1 Comment

The Bizarre Case of Toni Ingram and her Trolls

Last year a woman named Toni Ingram started a blog. This blog was to commemorate her daughter, Morgan, who had committed suicide the previous December. Toni, however, believed that Morgan was stalked and killed by a neighbor boy. She wrote her blog on a day-by-day basis, taking from notes and memory from the year before, leading her readers down a trail of fear and shock as the “stalking” escalated.

At first.

This blog was shared over on a true crime forum called Websleuths. Many of us followed the blog. Most felt Toni was telling the truth and agonized over Morgan’s death.

I never believed it. It didn’t sound like a stalking; more like perhaps natural phenomenon or at most kids playing around. The “stalking” did not follow the recognized pattern of a stalker. But more importantly, I noticed that when readers would comment on the blog, suggesting various differing scenarios, that Toni would then incorporate those suggestions into subsequent blogs. It was more like she was trying to write a novel or movie of the week.

Finally, the police reports, autopsy reports, toxicology screens, and murder investigation reports were released, and we were all able to view the case from both sides. It was apparent to all but a few die-hards that Toni – at the very least – was delusional, at most was potentially dangerous. Munchausen by proxy was mentioned by several people in the psych field, as well as a new phenomenon called Munchausen by Internet. Either way, there was no stalking and there was no murder.

The true crime board closed discussion on the case after it was decided Morgan had killed herself, since no crime had been committed. A group of us created our on board to continue investigation of the case. Our group (and yes, there are many of us involved) decided to make the official documents available for other people who wanted all the details of the story they were reading, so we put up our own website, so people would make informed decisions about the case before donating money or investing emotion. We later added another site.

Toni, undeterred, continued to insist that a stalker penetrated the perimeter of her home, passed unnoticed by at least 6 cameras, lights, and motion detectors; past dogs and the Ingrams themselves; into Morgan’s room and held her down while they injected her with liquid amitriptyline as part of a “date rape cocktail”; waited hours for her die, sexually molested her, then got away, without leaving a single trace of evidence.

Thing is, none of this happened. There was no cocktail of drugs, only the two Morgan ingested and their metabolites. There was no struggle, no rape, no forced ingestion. There was no injection of medication, as there was pill residue in Morgan’s stomach with a massive amount of a medication she herself had been prescribed for years. This was no accidental overdose, this was suicide. Morgan had fought with her mother the night she died, called her a bitch, and told her to leave her alone. Those were Morgan’s parting words to her mother.

So it would appear that the blog, the accusations, the crazy descriptions of this superhuman ninja kid getting into a house guarded by several cameras, motion detectors, security lights, dogs, and keypad locks were just the ramblings of a grief-stricken mother.

So, you might ask, who cares? Why do I personally care if this woman writes her blog?

Good question.

I care because Toni went beyond grief, to evil and vindictiveness. She named the neighbor boy by full name, calling him a rapist and murderer, even saying he has done this before and will do it again. Keep in mind he wasn’t even in the same state through much of the “stalking”, and was questioned and cleared by law enforcement. But, because of Toni’s blog, his name will forever be associated with rape and murder, and this could effect future employment and even relationships.

Toni didn’t stop there. She included this guy’s girlfriend at the time, her father, his mother, and depending on her mood, others in the neighborhood. These people are now trying to defend their reputations from a woman who has found a way to capitalize on her daughter’s death (note the “donate” button on her site).

Even then, it’s none of my business, so again, why do I care?

I care because Toni started allowing comments on her blog endorsing harm to these people and their children. Toni is fully responsible for the content of her blog. She moderates all comments, disallowing hard-hitting questions and allowing self-gratifying glorification and comments of violence. She allowed a comment specifically calling for the girlfriend’s infant to be kidnapped and murdered “so she’d know how it felt”. Toni commented afterward that violence wasn’t called for, but she’s the one who allowed the threatening comment to appear in the first place.

I do this for the kids. Advocating the murder of an infant is NOT okay ever, I don’t care how grief-stricken the responsible party is, and the responsible party is Toni Ingram.

When Toni realized that we weren’t going to leave her alone, were going to make sure everyone had the same chance to view the official documents that we had, she took a turn from evil to vile.

All of the sudden a group of newly-created Twitter accounts cropped up, all making accusations against these people, but going further. Now, keep in mind that for the most part, these are all new accounts and they follow only one an another. We believe “they” are in fact just a few people, and there are many clues that point to that, but they persist. Also keep in mind, the only common denominator is they are all followed by and follow @Morgansstalking, Toni’s Twitter account.

They’ve taken to creating blogs about me, a woman named Marcie __________, the woman who runs Websleuths, Tricia, and a few other people. They’ve decided we’re all the same person, or I’m pretending to be them, but sometimes they’re pretending to be me. . . actually, it’s kind of confusing.

The truth is, we are all individual people and have never impersonated the other. I’ve been accused of slandering/libeling Sarah Afshar, a friend of Toni’s who wrote a one-sided article on Morgan’s death. In reality, I don’t talk about her at all in my tweets or blogs because she’s a non-issue. To me, she’s not relevant to the case, so I’m not going to bother being side-tracked. There are others who have written about her, and it’s convenient for these Twitter trolls to pretend we’re the same person so they can accuse me of what others have said, but it’s all just a game. None of my group has been involved in libeling Sarah.

The trolls have claimed I’ve made death threats to Sarah and Toni, yet fail to show proof of this. They claim I sent naked pictures to Steve, Toni’s husband, but again fail to show proof. They claim all kinds of things; none of which have been proven by any of them. It’s just an attempt to discredit me, and by extension, discredit our blog site listing the truth.

These people have tried to manipulate Anonymous into DOXing me, have lied to anti-bullying sites, trying to discredit me, and have made the most outrageous claims that my daughter and I can only sit and laugh over them. They’ve also accused me and Marcie’s son of being pedophiles, thinking they can manipulate Anonymous into shutting us down. What they don’t know is I’ve invited a member of Anonymous full access to my sites, proving we have nothing to hide.

So, while I’ve been honest over my identity, have stated nothing but facts, have backed everything with proof, and have kept vital information about Morgan secret in order to honor her memory, her mother has not. She has resorted to this made-for-TV attack on anyone who doesn’t believe her story, including the officials who agonized over Morgan’s death.

The official opinion on Toni Ingram? “Bat-shit crazy” was the phrase used to describe her.

She’s even taken to attacking her grandchildren’s mother, because she dared to step forward and admit publicly that some of Toni’s stalking “proof” was in fact faked by the Ingrams. And yes, I have proof she said that. I’ve screen capped EVERYTHING.

I’ve created this blog to show everyone I have nothing to hide. I don’t hide behind fake accounts. I don’t fake comments. I don’t pretend to be other people. I dare anyone to prove I’ve attacked Sarah Afshar on a personal level at all. I dare anyone to provide proof I’ve threatened Sarah, Toni, or Steve.

On the contrary, check out the things they’ve said about me:







Please remember that these names may or may not be real. They could be using other people’s names and pictures, especially considering some of the pics are mugshots. Also, there are many more Twitter accounts, but these are the most idiotic and show a good example of how even combined, their IQs don’t reach triple digits.

I invite any of the above Twits to make a coherent comment, not one scripted by the person paying them to tweet. I’m not afraid for my IP address to be captured on a site they put up. Why are they afraid to visit mine?

Toni Ingram is a sad, pathetic person who has resorted to insanity to make her look sane. That just doesn’t work. If she had stuck to her story, despite the opposition, she would have earned the respect of people following her story and lent credibility to what she had to say. Instead, angry that she doesn’t have a book or movie deal as planned, she’s spun out of control.

Now, go judge for yourselves.



I removed the last name of a certain person defamed by the troll, per her request.  Nothing else has been changed.

Categories: Morgan Ingram | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 139 Comments

Pre-Registration in the Bag!

I’ve gained a slot in the 2013 HaganaH Conference.  That’s a HUGE step towards getting there.  It is mandatory that I attend, so it’s a good thing it’s my biggest thing to look forward to each year.

In years past I’ve been able to to this myself; taking out loans, hocking my bass, but this year has been rough.  On top of moving, I’ve taken on even more by having my daughter, her husband, and 4 kids move in with us, making for a lot of happiness, but also a lot of responsibility.

I’ve not used my teaching certificate to open a school, not wanting to take business away from the school where I studied.  Instead, I volunteer teaching those who can’t afford formal lessons, and have recently made arrangements to teach bullied kids how to feel more self-confident and have the tools to protect themselves, and hopefully, will start teaching the younger kids about stranger danger.

Each year at the conference we learn new techniques to apply to our arsenol of weapons, and I’d hate to miss out on this coming conference advanced techniques.  Donations would be greatly appreciated.

Categories: haganah, martial arts, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Haganah Conference help

This is new for me, actually asking for help.

I’ve been independent so long; raising 5 children alone, no child support.  I hate asking for help, and you’d think I’d know better by now.  That was the lesson wiht my first labor; it’s okay to ask for help.

What can I say?  I’m stubborn.

OK, deep breath . . . As a Haganah instructor and Nucleus member, I’m required to attend the yearly conferences.  I’ve managed to pull it off each year by taking out loans, saving my days off for the conference, pawning my bass, etc.  This year it’s not so easy.  The bass is gone, I used up my paid days off to move, and between the move and my work not paying out what it used to, I’m stuck between not attending the conference and begging for help.

I want to go to the conference.  More importantly, I need to go to this conference.

Yes, I have students.  No I don’t charge them.  If they’re not family, then they are people who can’t afford training at a school (so I’m not taking potential clients from my alma mater), but are people who want to learn and are eager to study, or have a personal reason to learn self defense.  

I love to teach.  This makes for a nice fit.

So, I’ve started a page at Go Fund Me asking for donations to get me there so I can take home the newest techniques for my students, keep my place as a Nucleus member, and reunite with my extended family at Haganah headquarters.

WIth any luck I’ll get a crime scene to clean before the conference and can take down the page, but until then I will do what ever it takes to get there, even stand on a virtual street corner holding a cybersign that says “please help”.  The difference is everyone knows I rarely drink, so I won’t be out sitting under an overpass sucking on a bottle of Mad Dog that was bought the money! LOL!


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Zombie Apocalypse Survival

I was just sitting here thinking that with so many people preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse, there won’t be anyone left to actually be the zombies.  Obviously, there’s a flaw in this way of thinking.  We’re all assuming we’ll be survivors.  I guess this is human nature; no one, after all, wants to be one of the undead.

So we stockpile food and water, make sure we have an ample supple of blunt force-type weapons such as maces, flails, and a stack of bricks handy.  We plan our means of escape and have developed ways of assuring our loved ones aren’t contaminated with the zombie virus.  We even practice killing zombies on videogames and watch zombie movies, just to catch every nuance of survival.

What few of us have done is get prepared in case we are in fact infected.  Now, hear me out.  Wouldn’t it be important, as a zombie, to make arrangements ahead of time to insure your “survival”?  As you stock up on ammo and firearms, swords, and bows and arrows, make a little room on your garage shelf for zombie survival items, too.  With a few simple steps, you can be prepared for all possibilities:  

  • Head protection:  Helmets, whether football  or motorcycle, would work.  Hats would not, but in a pinch, I suppose a safari hat might offer a little bit of protection.  A construction hat would be better, though.
  • I cannot stress this enough:  Study Krav Maga or HaganaH before the outbreak.  Why those?  Neither rely on fine motor skills that will break down under stress, but rather employ the use of muscle memory.  As a zombie, you won’t be able to get into some of the more elaborate stances of Kung Fu or Capoeira, but will easily be able to put into practice the knees and elbows Krav and HaganaH are so well known for.  This will help protect you from zombie hunters.
  • An alternate form of transportation:  Everyone knows zombies are slow.  I suggest roller blades or a skateboard.  A Segway would be ideal, but a bit costly and might be hard to operate once zombified.  This would give you a slight edge on the other zombies, however.  It is possible, though, that we could end up being zombies like in Resident Evil.  You know, the fast kind.  In that case, an alternate form of transportation isn’t necessary and might actually be cumbersome.
  • A mapped-out route:  You don’t want to be shuffling along aimlessly.  Observe your neighbors now, while you have the chance.  Seek out those who are impaired, overweight, or oblivious, and make them your first victims.  You can also highlight the homes of people who annoyed you in life.  This will get you used to sucking head (otherwise known as human Etouffe).  While you’re at it, make sure to avoid the neighbors you know are prepared for the apocalypse.
  • If you can afford it, get a voice-activated home security system so enthusiastic zombie killers can’t reach you in your own home.  Program it now with your voice.  A groan will suffice. 
  • Since there will be no need for water or blankets, or other human amenities, this leaves plenty of room for brains.  Yes, that’s right.  I suggest ordering lamb, pig, and cow brain, and keeping a nice supply in your freezer, just in case.  If you get bitten or otherwise suspect you’ve been exposed to the zombie virus, you will have plenty of time to take the brains out of the freezer and let them thaw out.  This will help stave off your hunger in case you don’t get the hang of hunting humans right away.  This will also come in handy for your family.  They can lure you away from their stronghold with a trail of brains.

This is by no means a complete list; it’s simple a few examples of things you might want to think about.  After all, if you have to be a zombie, why not be the best zombie you can?  Why do things half way?  Most of us are preparing for the days of chaos; martial arts, weapons training, stocking-piling supplies, etc.  Why not be fully prepared for all contingencies?  I mean, think about it.  How would it look if there’s a zombie apocalypse and you’re the first zombie in your neighborhood to be killed?  Don’t bring shame to your family, prepare now!

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